One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
