She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
