this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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