Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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