i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
