I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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