Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
