he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
organizing the empties. That sober.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
