you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
