I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
