omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
