is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
