I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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