C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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