I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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