she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You need Xanax blowdarts
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
