did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
