Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
my liver is dry heaving
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
