So drunk its hurt
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
