you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
