So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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