My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
