Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
