oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
