CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Randomize