he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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