he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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