It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just google imaged poop.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
