is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
