Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
areolas are like halos for boobs.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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