before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
