so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
