just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
