my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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