You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
