apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
