you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
