I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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