I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
