Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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