good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
