I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
