i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
