She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
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