I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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