Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
