every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have fence marks all over my body
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize