the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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