He passed out mid-signature
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
