I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
