Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
