i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
