please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
