i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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