I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
