no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Randomize
