nut hugger
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
