i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
