Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Randomize
