you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
