you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
