I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
