my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize