I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
