The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize