No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
