lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize