Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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