I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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