I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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