The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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