i think my tv is drunk
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
