I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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