some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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