You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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