as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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