he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
