Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
