i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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