well I can't set my house on fire every night
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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