I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
