just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
