We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
