8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
