The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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