So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
im holly from the hills drunk
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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